Albert Einstein, who fancied himself as a violinist, was rehearsing a Haydn string quartet. When he failed for the fourth time to get his entry in the second movement, the cellist looked up and said, “The problem with you, Albert, is that you simply can't count.”
Ernest Rutherford was a physicist from New Zealand One student in Rutherford's lab was very hard-working. Rutherford had noticed it and asked one evening:
- Do you work in the mornings too?
- Yes, - proudly answered the student sure he would be commended.
- But when do you think? - amazed Rutherford.
A contractor, an engineer, and an architect were standing inside their recently completed building, looking out at the street. A VERY attractive woman walks by. The contractor whistles, the engineer says, “Did you see the legs on that woman?” The architect says, “Did I miss something, I was admiring my reflection”
An architect is said to be a man who knows a very little about a great deal and keeps knowing less and less about more and more until he knows practically nothing about everything, whereas, on the other hand, an engineer is a man who knows a great deal about very little and who goes along knowing more and more about less and less until finally he knows practically everything about nothing. A contractor starts out knowing practically everything about everything, but ends up by knowing nothing about anything, due to his association with architects and engineers.
How many architects does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Nobody knows for sure, it has never been witnessed.
A demolition engineer is someone who designs ways to destroy building architecture.
A demolition architect is someone who builds ways to destroy design engineering.
A contractor was hollering at an Engineer and an Architect - He said, “If you guys would just get these CAD drawings right the first time, you would be driving a Rolls Royce.”
Engineer Responds: “What’s a Roll's Royce?”
Architect Responds: “What's a CAD drawing?” *
*CAD (computer-aided design) software is used by architects, engineers, drafters, artists, and others to create precision drawings or technical illustrations. CAD software can be used to create two-dimensional (2-D) drawings or three-dimensional (3-D) models.
A reasonable fee
A man phones a lawyer and asks, “How much would you charge for just answering three simple questions?”
The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars.”
“A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man. “That’s very expensive, isn't it?”
“It certainly is,” says the lawyer. “Now, what's your third question?”